Embracing Your Sexual Orientation with the Support of Essential Oils

Christian St-Pierre

When the gaze of others feels heavy, fear of being judged, losing connections, or “not fitting right”, the body quickly goes on alert: short breath, raised shoulders, a tight belly. The goal isn’t to become someone else, but to open a small, breathable space where you can welcome what rises without breaking.

Rose gently reopens the heart area and reminds you of the dignity of being yourself. Laurel leaf brings a calm sense of legitimacy: you can speak plainly and stand straight. Ho wood softens self-criticism and brings kindness back into the inner voice. Sandalwood creates a steady, inhabited calm that helps you hold your center. Cardamom, finally, warms the core and helps you take your place without apologizing.

My protocol remains minimalist and repeatable: one minute of inhalation when everything tightens, ten to fifteen minutes of diffusion to soften the atmosphere, or a very diluted trace (1–2%, meaning 1 drop in 5 ml of carrier oil) on the sternum or wrists just before a sensitive moment.

Nothing magical, just small gestures that make one step toward self-acceptance possible today… and another tomorrow.

Enough theory. Let’s get practical: how to use them, when to reach for them, and what to do if you prefer a single oil or a simple duo.

1- Rose (Rosa × damascena)

Key molecules: Citronellol, Geraniol, Nerol
Overall effect: Deeply soothing and heart-centering; eases emotional tension, fosters self-kindness, and supports a gentle return to inner equilibrium when the heart feels tight or overwhelmed.

When self-criticism bites (fear of judgment, diffuse shame, harsh phrases looping in the mind), rose helps soften the sharp edges: its deep floral scent (citronellol, geraniol, nerol) is often felt as enveloping, the breath loosens, the chest opens, and a gentler tone becomes possible when speaking to oneself.

Practically: 1 drop on a tissue, 6–8 slow breaths (≈60–90 seconds), or very light diffusion for 10–15 minutes (3–4 drops/100–200 ml). For topical use, a trace diluted to 1–2% (1 drop of EO per 1 teaspoon/5 ml of carrier oil) on the sternum before a sensitive conversation.

My gesture: 30–60 seconds of inhalation, then writing a kind sentence I wish someone had told me, and offering it to myself, just as it is.

2- Laurel Leaf (Laurus nobilis)

Key molecules: 1,8-Cineole, α-Pinene, Linalool
Overall effect: Clarifying and strengthening; supports clear breathing, boosts confidence and motivation, and helps steady the mind when facing self-doubt or mental overload.

When it comes to standing as who you are under the gaze of others, laurel leaf helps cultivate a quiet sense of legitimacy. Its green-aromatic note subtly straightens the posture, clarifies intention, and gives a bit of texture to the voice: you speak simply and directly, without overplaying, without apologizing.

It’s not a “combative” oil; it’s a support for speaking truth calmly.

In practice, a 60–90-second inhalation is often enough before a delicate conversation, a presentation, or any moment where you want to assert yourself without harshness. In diffusion (10–15 minutes), it creates a clear, steady atmosphere.

Applied topically in a very light dilution (1–2%) on the sternum or the back of the neck, it helps maintain direction over time. I avoid mucous membranes and do a patch test in the elbow crease for sensitive skin (it naturally contains potentially sensitizing compounds such as eugenol). Not photosensitizing.

Gesture: breathe with laurel for one minute, formulate one short true sentence, then enter the conversation with a steady voice and a clear gaze.

3- Ho Wood (Cinnamomum camphora CT linalool)

Key molecules: Linalool, α-Terpineol, Limonene
Overall effect: Calming and gently uplifting; eases nervous tension, supports emotional balance, and brings a soft, clear tranquility without sedation.

When the challenge is to accept who you are without judging yourself, Ho Wood helps you find a kinder inner tone. Its floral-woody note is soft, clear, almost tender: it soothes the critical mind and creates a space where you can acknowledge yourself without constantly correcting everything.

It doesn’t push toward frontal self-assertion; rather, it allows you to stay true to yourself, even when the outside gaze feels heavy.

Practically, one minute of inhalation helps release tension before a delicate conversation or speaking up. In diffusion, ten to fifteen minutes are enough to create a calm atmosphere that supports authentic exchanges.

For topical use, a light dilution (1–2%) on the sternum or wrists can support moments when you want to stay rooted in your truth without hardening yourself. It is not photosensitizing; for sensitive skin, a patch test in the elbow crease is still a good idea.

Typical gesture: breathe with Ho Wood, then formulate one simple, true sentence, without apologizing, without justifying, and move forward like that, step by step.

4- Sandalwood — India / Australia (Santalum album / Santalum spicatum)

Key molecules: α-Santalol, β-Santalol
Overall effect: Deeply grounding and soothing; calms emotional turbulence, steadies the breath, and fosters a quiet inner stillness ideal for rest, meditation, and gentle reconnection.

When you need calm and presence (not hibernation), sandalwood brings you back to your center: its creamy-woody note, rich in santalols, is often felt as stabilizing and clarifying. The breath drops lower, the chest opens, the thoughts lose their sharp edges, and you can hold your course with gentleness.

Practically: diffuse for 15–20 minutes (3–5 drops in 100–200 ml of water); for a quick reset, 1 drop on a tissue for 6–8 slow breaths (≈60–90 seconds); for a more “anchored” effect, apply a very light dilution (1–2%, meaning 1 drop of EO per 1 teaspoon / 5 ml of carrier oil) on the sternum or the back of the neck.

Typical gesture: I breathe in sandalwood, then I reformulate my inner sentence so that it’s true rather than harsh, a simple line I could say to someone I love.

5- Cardamom (Elettaria cardamomum)

Key molecules: 1,8-Cineole, α-Terpinyl acetate, Linalool
Overall effect: Warm and uplifting; supports clear breathing, eases digestive tension, and brings a calm, alert energy that helps restore inner balance.

In situations where orientation or identity needs to be affirmed under the gaze of others, cardamom brings a calm sense of confidence. Its clear, spicy note warms the center, opens the chest, and helps the voice settle: you show up as you are, without apologizing, without overcompensating.

In practice, one minute of inhalation is often enough to regain momentum before speaking or entering an important conversation. In diffusion, ten minutes create a welcoming atmosphere that makes honest words easier to find.

For topical use, a light dilution (1–2%) on the sternum or wrists supports moments when you want to hold your place without aggression. Not photosensitizing; for sensitive skin, a patch test in the elbow crease is still wise.

Typical gesture: breathe with cardamom for 60–90 seconds, formulate one simple and direct sentence, then take a step forward, clear and steady.

A Botanical Bath Salt to Gently Embrace Your Sexual Orientation

Why I Offer Bath Rituals for Embracing One’s Sexual Orientation

There are realities we carry very close to the heart. Sexual orientation is one of them. You may have known it for a long time or discovered it later in life, embraced it easily or with difficulty, but one thing often remains: the gaze. The gaze of others, of course, but also the one you turn toward yourself.

Sometimes you feel “too much,” or “not the way you should be.” Sometimes you learn to stay small, to hold back, to avoid showing too much of who you are in order to escape comments, tension, or hurt. Over time, you end up living slightly beside your own body, as if you never fully had the right to inhabit it completely.

For me, the bath can become a special moment along that path. In warm water, there is no role to play, no mask to hold up. The body is simply there, whole, without an audience. You can let your guard down a little, breathe, feel the skin and muscles simply as a home of your own. It’s an intimate space where, for a few minutes, you can stop judging yourself and simply exist.

In this context, essential oils are not there to “fix” anything, there is nothing to fix. They’re here to create an atmosphere of reconciliation: a warmth that quietly says, “you have the right to be here, in this body, exactly as you are.”

To support the acceptance of one’s orientation, I chose a synergy that speaks of tenderness, presence, and gentleness toward oneself:

Ylang-ylang to bring an enveloping warmth, sensual yet kind, that helps you feel at home in your own skin.
Jasmine to remind you of the beauty of desire and sensitivity, without shame, like a deep note that fully owns what it is.
Bourbon geranium to soothe emotions, smooth inner tension, and support the heart when it has been on the defensive for too long.
Cardamom to warm gently and bring back a quiet courage in the way you look at yourself.
Amyris to anchor everything, reconnecting you to the body and giving a calm, grounded sense of presence within yourself.

This bath doesn’t try to make anyone “different.” It offers a climate where you can approach yourself without harshness, without judgment, without performance. A safe, intimate space where you can softly accept that your orientation is part of you, neither flaw nor excess, simply a truth to inhabit at your own pace.

How I Make These Bath Salts

As with my other rituals, I don’t work with a mindset of large production. Each botanical bath salt is made one by one, at the moment the order is placed. I take the time to weigh, blend, and smell. It’s a simple gesture, but I want it to remain personal, almost confidential, especially for a theme as intimate as this one.

I want to stay honest, accessible, and gentle. I have no ambition to open a factory or produce thousands of jars. My intention is to offer something true, something unique on a small scale, something that can accompany someone on their own path of self-acceptance. When people share with me what they felt in the bath, a moment of peace, a small release, an emotion settling, I feel that this ritual truly finds its meaning. That sharing, again, is part of the healing.

And I prefer to say it clearly: neither essential oils nor this bath salt can, on their own, heal the wounds linked to rejection, discrimination, or shame. They don’t replace support, therapy, safe spaces, or the human connections one may need.

What they can do, however, is support that inner movement: offer a moment where you feel a little more at peace in your body, a little less at war with yourself. It’s often in these small pockets of softness that the possibility emerges to say: “As I am, I have the right to exist, to love, and to be loved.”

This bath is not a miracle solution. It is a gesture of self-respect, a small, intimate ceremony to return to your own body as to a possible home, without masks, without justification, with gentleness.

If you’d like to discover it, here is the link. >>>

Conclusion — loving yourself enough to stay yourself

I’m not chasing perfect self-love. I’m trying to nudge the needle: a scent that opens, a breath, one small step toward safe connection. Acceptance rarely arrives all at once; it grows through repeated gestures. One step at a time, and that’s enough for today.